Saturday, September 27, 2014

You Know You Live In A Small House When...

Here we go, post number five. Yay! I'm making progress! So as you all know, Alexander and I are a newly married couple. (Or if you didn't know that-- I'm newly married. Now you know and don't have to beat yourself up for not knowing. Really stop, it's okay, everyone makes mistakes. You good? can I continue? Good). And like most newly weds, the house we live in is a wee bit small (emphasis on the wee). If you didn't have the opportunity to live in a little shack, er I mean small house, then you're definitely missing out! (It's up to you to determine if that was sarcastic or not). Living in a small has it's advantages, that's for sure, but it also has it's disadvantages. So I have compiled a list called: "You know you live in a small house when..." And now without further ado, I give you, the list.... and a picture of when The Hulk came to visit us.... (see how small?) Quick side note, we call the house a tree house without the tree. Funny right? (so I said that, and it's not as funny as I thought it would be... don't  you hate it when that happens?)

You know you live in a small house when:
1. You can vacuum your entire house in less time than it takes to say "you can vacuum your entire house in less time than it takes to say." (Now not everyone can do it this fast, I'm just really good at it. I still hate vacuuming though... even if I can do it really fast, because I can. It's like Olympic fast. New Olympic sport anyone?)
2. You can use your oven as a way to heat your ENTIRE house.
3. You think that there's an earthquake but it's really just your washing machine on spin cycle. (It seriously shakes the entire house. Funny side comment: sometimes I just lay on the bed when the wash is going because it feels like a massage. True story.)
4. You can sit on the couch, do the dishes, clean the bathroom, and eat a meal all without taking more than three steps. (Convenient right?)
5. It takes more time to brush your teeth than it does to mop the kitchen floor. (At least I would think that it does... granted you would have to brush your teeth for probably ten minutes... Anyways, I've yet had time to mop all three tiles of my kitchen floor.... just kidding, there's like 56 tiles... yes I just counted.)
6. I can't think of anything else.... Is anyone still reading this? Hello out there?! How have you been? I hope you've had a good day! Alex made me pancakes for breakfast this morning! Did your husband make you pancakes for breakfast? He didn't? Are you sure you made the right choice with this one? Food for thought. Or no food for thought, because he didn't make you pancakes.
7. Still haven't thought of anything... we don't have a front yard. I guess that could be something... hmmm... But I've seen big houses with no front yards, so it's not like "no yard" is specific to just small houses...
8. My goodness are you still reading this? Don't you have something else to do?? Kids to feed? a house to clean?? What was that? you're using this time reading my blog as an escape from your life? Oh. I guess it's okay then. But I'm almost done, so you're going to have to think of something else to do. You could pretend to get a phone call from a very important person and lock yourself in the bathroom. I haven't done that before, but it sounds like a good idea. I could even call you if you want and we could discuss things such as climate change, politics, or the fact that they don't put as much sugar on frosted flakes that they used to (that's right Kellogs I noticed what you did!)
9. I don't know why I'm still writing the numbers.... I was hoping my actual list would be longer than 5 though. So I guess continuing the numbering is just my way to feel better about myself. I made a list that has nine numbers! Success. Well, I'm getting sick of hearing myself talking... typing... whatever. Thank you for reading and I will try to think of something better for next time. Maybe... we'll see. It's really  just a total gamble because I have no idea. Ok I'm done for real now. May the force be with you, live long and prosper and other such sayings.

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