Monday, November 3, 2014

Another Story??

Well hello there my fellow time wasters. It's been awhile. I am honestly clean out of ideas on what to write about. Like seriously, my life is too boring to just write about what happens on a daily basis. Plus who would want to read that anyways? I don't go on any fun vacations, I don't have any funny kids, I got nothin. So I dug down into the good old memory vault and found a story that's at least decently funny. I now present to you my story, Prank Gone Wrong. 

Once upon a time, little twelve year old Marisa was spending a week of her summer at a girls camp. Now personally I love camping. You get to spend a few day up in the mountains with mosquito's and ticks and spiders and bears and rabid gopher things, and did I also mention that it is always like 100 degrees during the day and -50 degrees at night, and I always end sleeping on like a family of the bumpiest, pokiest rocks in the world. Anyways, I just love it, really I do (please note the sarcasm). And adding fifty screaming teenage girls to the picture makes things that much more enjoyable. SO, here I am, at camp, trying to decide what to do during my three hours of free time. Naturally, being the devious little twelve year old I was, me and a friend of mine, we'll call her Francis, decided it would be great fun to play a prank on one of our leaders. So during this three hour time frame, me and Francis concocted a plan. Side note, this camp ground we were at had showers. It was like, this big room with three separate stalls and then a big bench on the outside where you would leave clothes. Important: there was a male side, and a female side and the doors to both were right next to each other.  Anyways, for our prank, we were going to wait for this one particular leader to get in the shower. Once in the shower, we were then going to steal her clothes and replace them with a little something we found in the skit bag. Now, this little something happened to be the ugliest dress on the face of the earth. I am not even joking it was hideous. It was this blue and pink checkered cotton fabric, with this ugly thick lace on all the hems. And there was this freaking gigantic bow on the back. It was low-cut in the front and back, and it even had huge puffy sleeves to complete the dresses hideousness. It was disgustingly ugly. We were planning on replacing our leaders clothes with this dress so she would be required to walk through camp wearing this dress. Funny stuff right? It's a classic! So the next day comes and we spend the morning on a hike. So we're on this hike, and the leader who we were planning on playing the prank on, got bird poop on her hair. It seriously could not have been more perfect. Thank you bird. She now had no choice but to shower. Me and Francis make it back to camp and hide behind some trees by the shower so we can watch who goes in and out. After what felt like an hour our leader starts heading towards the showers. As soon as we saw her coming we laid flat on the ground just to be sure she wouldn't see us. Once she was in, we waited like three or four minutes just to make sure she was inside the stalls and wouldn't see us take her clothes. So we walk into a shower room and look to see what clothes were hers. She had been wearing a red flannel shirt that day and what do you know, a red flannel shirt and jeans were nicely sitting on the bench waiting to be stolen. We quickly grab the clothes and replace them with the beautiful dress and run out just as the shower is being turned off. We then returned to our hiding spot behind the trees and wait for our victim to show herself. It's not long though before we hear someone, a man, yell, "WHERE THE **** ARE MY CLOTHES!!!??" And in that moment, I saw my life flash before my eyes. We had gone into the MENS shower room and had taken a MANS clothes AND his towel (something we thought would be funny, giving the victim the only choice of putting on the dress). We were both frozen in place. I thought I might die right then and there, which would be the better option than waiting to see what our victim had in store for us. What were we supposed to do? Do the right thing and take the man's clothes back into him? HA! yeah right. Plus for all we knew he was standing in there naked, which was the last thing I wanted to see. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I noticed movement in the corner of my eye. Francis had gotten up with the man's clothes and started sprinting for the showers. I wanted to shout "Don't do it! It's a suicide mission!" but I couldn't make my mouth move, all I could do was watch. She quickly approached the shower room doors, but skidded to a halt before entering. She then, without looking inside the room, threw the man's clothes onto the floor a few feet away from the door. I have still never seen a braver act in my 19 years. She then made a bee-line back to where I was behind the tree. Milliseconds after she made it, I saw something peek around the corner of the door of the shower room. It was our victim. It only took him a second to see that his clothes were right by the door, and took him less than a second to realize that he had to step outside to reach them. We watched him hesitate, and then quicker than lightning step out into the sun, grab his clothes, and return to the safety of the shower room. But although it was fast, I saw it. I saw him. I saw the dress. It looked like he had attempted to put the dress on by stepping into the head hole (who puts on a dress like that?), but he must have realized that there was no way that he was going to get his torso through the little hole. So he gave up and just pulled the dress up high enough to cover what needed to be covered (thank goodness). After seeing that, we ran back to camp. I never saw the man, or the dress again. The end.

That's all I got. Hope you enjoyed! May the force be with you.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

You Know You Live In A Small House When...

Here we go, post number five. Yay! I'm making progress! So as you all know, Alexander and I are a newly married couple. (Or if you didn't know that-- I'm newly married. Now you know and don't have to beat yourself up for not knowing. Really stop, it's okay, everyone makes mistakes. You good? can I continue? Good). And like most newly weds, the house we live in is a wee bit small (emphasis on the wee). If you didn't have the opportunity to live in a little shack, er I mean small house, then you're definitely missing out! (It's up to you to determine if that was sarcastic or not). Living in a small has it's advantages, that's for sure, but it also has it's disadvantages. So I have compiled a list called: "You know you live in a small house when..." And now without further ado, I give you, the list.... and a picture of when The Hulk came to visit us.... (see how small?) Quick side note, we call the house a tree house without the tree. Funny right? (so I said that, and it's not as funny as I thought it would be... don't  you hate it when that happens?)

You know you live in a small house when:
1. You can vacuum your entire house in less time than it takes to say "you can vacuum your entire house in less time than it takes to say." (Now not everyone can do it this fast, I'm just really good at it. I still hate vacuuming though... even if I can do it really fast, because I can. It's like Olympic fast. New Olympic sport anyone?)
2. You can use your oven as a way to heat your ENTIRE house.
3. You think that there's an earthquake but it's really just your washing machine on spin cycle. (It seriously shakes the entire house. Funny side comment: sometimes I just lay on the bed when the wash is going because it feels like a massage. True story.)
4. You can sit on the couch, do the dishes, clean the bathroom, and eat a meal all without taking more than three steps. (Convenient right?)
5. It takes more time to brush your teeth than it does to mop the kitchen floor. (At least I would think that it does... granted you would have to brush your teeth for probably ten minutes... Anyways, I've yet had time to mop all three tiles of my kitchen floor.... just kidding, there's like 56 tiles... yes I just counted.)
6. I can't think of anything else.... Is anyone still reading this? Hello out there?! How have you been? I hope you've had a good day! Alex made me pancakes for breakfast this morning! Did your husband make you pancakes for breakfast? He didn't? Are you sure you made the right choice with this one? Food for thought. Or no food for thought, because he didn't make you pancakes.
7. Still haven't thought of anything... we don't have a front yard. I guess that could be something... hmmm... But I've seen big houses with no front yards, so it's not like "no yard" is specific to just small houses...
8. My goodness are you still reading this? Don't you have something else to do?? Kids to feed? a house to clean?? What was that? you're using this time reading my blog as an escape from your life? Oh. I guess it's okay then. But I'm almost done, so you're going to have to think of something else to do. You could pretend to get a phone call from a very important person and lock yourself in the bathroom. I haven't done that before, but it sounds like a good idea. I could even call you if you want and we could discuss things such as climate change, politics, or the fact that they don't put as much sugar on frosted flakes that they used to (that's right Kellogs I noticed what you did!)
9. I don't know why I'm still writing the numbers.... I was hoping my actual list would be longer than 5 though. So I guess continuing the numbering is just my way to feel better about myself. I made a list that has nine numbers! Success. Well, I'm getting sick of hearing myself talking... typing... whatever. Thank you for reading and I will try to think of something better for next time. Maybe... we'll see. It's really  just a total gamble because I have no idea. Ok I'm done for real now. May the force be with you, live long and prosper and other such sayings.

Monday, September 15, 2014

The Hogwarts Express

Story time! I am just on the role of date stories so here's another one. This is another one of Alex's favorite stories to tell, he heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend blah blah blah. So, here we go.

So once upon a time this gentleman, we shall call him Ron, asked this lady, Hermione, on a date. And for this date they were going to take a ride on the Hogwarts Express (The Heber Creeper). So the day of the date comes and Ron s on his way to get Hermione, but on his way he notices some rumbly-tumblies happening in his tummy. Paying little attention to his stomach, he walks to her front door and picks her up. He then walks her to his car, opens the door, lets her in, and closes it. So he now realizes that it is time to release some gas from his bowels or else he'll be stuck with stomach pains the rest of the date. So he decides to walk around the back of the car so that he has more time to relieve himself of the noxious fumes. But as he does so, he realizes, to his utter horror, that a little something something is coming out too. Not knowing what to do he gets in the car, rolls down the window (in attempt to remove the smell), and starts driving. His mind is spinning right now trying to decide what to do. He can't go home and change because he lives too far away, he is in no way staying in his soiled trousers for the rest of the evening, so he decides that the best thing to do is to go to the store and but a new pair of pants. So he asks Hermione if it'll be alright if they can make a quick stop at the nearest clothing store so he can "buy a present for his sister who's birthday he forgot is tomorrow," and of course she agrees. So the run into the nearest store and pick out a sweater for his sister, but while Hermione isn't looking, Ron grabs a new pair of pants and underwear. Ron walks up to the register and the cashier starts to ring him up, but Ron quickly whispers, "I only want the pants and the underwear, not the sweater." And the cashier grudgingly agrees. He looks around to make sure Hermione didn't hear, pays for the clothes, and walks out of the store. As they're walking out they realize that they're about to miss their train, so he decides that he'll just change when they get there. So they finally arrive, meet up with their group, and off they go on the Hogwarts Express. About five minutes into the ride, Ron excuses himself to the bathroom. He quickly closes the door and begins to take his soiled clothes off. Not knowing what to do with them he decides to throw them out the window (why he decided to do this I don't know). He then opens the bag and realizes that the cashier misheard him. Instead of his new pants and undies, it is just the sweater. By now he's totally freaking out. He has no pants or underwear. All he has is this sweater. So he puts the sweater on his legs and ties the arms around his waist to hold it up. Now instead of telling his date what happened, he waits for the next stop and ditches her and then calls his friend for a ride home leaving Hermione to find her own way home.

So there you go. Another date story for the books. I'm pretty sure this is my last date story unless I can come up with another one. So what I am going to write next time will be a surprise for me as much as it is for you. May the force be with you, live long and prosper, and other such sayings.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Dan Dan the Window Man

Alright now it's my turn to tell a date story (more like a "worse date" story). Except this one is real, promise. And I would just like you to think of how this would make you feel if you were in my shoes!

So before me and Alexander started dating, I would go on lots of dates with different boys. (Lots of dates mom see?) And there was this one guy named Daniel (yes that is his real name, mwahaha). And we had hung out and gone on a few dates and I decided that he might be worth perusing  (and was I wrong!!). So one day he asked me to hang out with him, (I'm counting it as a date because it was just the two of us doing stuff people do on dates like make dinner and watch movies) and so I did. We went shopping for groceries and then made dinner (that's about as fancy as it gets in Ephraim). Now I had known that Dan had liked some other girls in our apartment complex, but as far as I had known he had liked me the most (which I was fine with because I had liked some other boys too *cough cough* Alex). So here we are finishing dinner when we decide that it would be fun to watch a movie. So we put the movie in and sit on the couch. (And I would just like to add that we were cuddling.) So about halfway into the movie someone walks into the apartment and sits on the other couch, did I mention that this someone was a GIRL, not a roommate, a girl. Dan and the girl say hi and exchanged a few pleasantries, and then Dan gets up because he "needed to fill up his water-bottle" which was like half way full btw. Except when he comes back to sit down, he doesn't sit by me, he sits by this other girl! And at first I was like "maybe he just wants to talk about something" but no. He sits there for the next half hour! And if that's not bad enough, I can totally tell that they're texting each other which I can assume meant that they were talking about me. So it's almost the end of the movie and I am so ready to leave when all of the sudden the girl stands up, announces that she has homework to do, and leaves. FINALLY she's gone. But before I can say anything to Dan, he gets up, walks into his room, and closes the door. What the heck!! I didn't want to think the worst so I convinced myself that he had to go to the bathroom or make a phone call or something. So I wait for about fifteen minutes or so and talk to his (very odd) roommate. I would have left after ten minutes of waiting but the roommate kept talking and talking and talking. But after fifteen minutes I was about to break down his door and ask what the heck he was doing. But instead of letting my inner animal show, I asked his roommate if he could see what Dan was doing. So he walks over to Dans room and opens the door.......(pause for effect)............ and the window is open and Dan is nowhere to be found. Later that night I found out that he had snuck out to be with the other girl who was supposedly doing her "homework." So this is where the name "Dan Dan the Window Man" (along with a few other names that I don't think would be appropriate to put on here) came from. After that I promised myself that I would never go on another date again!! JK I was dating Alex like two weeks later.

So there you go. That is my worst date story and it is 100% true. I DARE you to come up with a better one, and it has to be true. None of this "I pushed my date who had no legs off of my truck" junk. (if you're confused, read the previous post.) So yeah... that's all I got. May the force be with you, live long and prosper, and other such sayings.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The Date

I couldn't think of what to write, and I don't want to do my homework, so I have decided to tell you a story. This is just one of my favorite date stories Alexander tells. It takes place back when he was in high school....
So once upon a time, Alexander was going for a jog at a park in West Jordan (one of the few jogs he actually went on). While there he ran into an old friend, we'll call her Ursula. They got talking and he found out that she was having a big party at her house that night and that he was now invited. So he dresses up in his very best T-shirt and blue jeans and heads off to said party. While there he notices a pretty girl sitting by herself at a picnic table, we'll call her Pippi Longstocking. So being the gentleman that he is, he goes over and begins to strike up a conversation with Miss Longstocking, and from what he can tell she is turning out to be pretty stellar gal, so he ends the evening by asking her on a date, and to his utter excitement, she agrees. As he's leaving, he gets stopped at the door by Ursula. "Thank you for coming Alex! And thank you so much for spending time with Pippi, it was so nice of you," she says. "Of course, she seems like a cool girl," he replied.
The week continues on and Alexander has decided to get a group together to go bowling for his date with Pippi. As he is inviting friends to join in the group date, he notices a common reaction when he tells them who his date is; "That is so nice of you." "What a thoughtful thing for you to do." "Are you sure you want to go bowling?" (strange right?) So Alex is beginning to become a little suspicious, why is everyone acting so weird when he tells them who his date is?....
The weekend finally arrives, and the time has come for Alexander to pick up his date. As he arrives at her house, her mother Mrs. Longstocking is already waiting for him on the front porch. As soon as he walks up the steps she gives him a BIG hug. "Thank you so much for taking our daughter out. She doesn't get to go on many dates." Alex's suspicion begins to grow even more. As he enters the house, he notices Pippi's father sitting on the couch. "Alex!" He says while giving him a big pat on the back. "You are the finest young  man this town has to offer! Thank you for being willing to spend the evening with our daughter! I'll go get her right now." And up the stairs he goes. A few minutes later Alex see's her father coming down the stairs with something in his arms. As he steps into the light, he notices that it is the one and only Pippi that he is carrying. He also notices that Pippi has no legs, just two little stubs a few inches past her knees. How he hid his shock he didn't know. He never realized when they were talking at the party that she had no legs! And they were supposed to go bowling tonight! Bowling! How is she supposed to bowl?! He quickly made a change of plans in his head and decided to take her to the drive in movies. No harm in that right? So her father takes her out to his truck and straps her in. As Alex gets in the car, Pippi exclaims, "I am so excited for our date tonight! I knew you were a cool guy the minute I started talking to you!"
They arrive at the drive in and back into a parking spot so they can sit on the bed of the truck. He pulls the tailgate down and carries her over to sit on the edge so her stumps can dangle off the side. As the movie starts, Alexander notices that Pippi is starting to move closer to him, and before he knows it, she is cuddling up next to him and one of her stumps is on his thigh. As good as a kid that Alex was, he was beginning to get uncomfortable. So with a quick movement, he adjusts his sitting position so he's not so close to Pippi. But as he does that, he makes Pippi lose her balance, and down she goes off the truck and onto the ground. BAM! Terrified he jumps off the tailgate and picks her up. Luckily she only suffered from a few scrapes and bruises, and needless to say they didn't stay the rest of the movie. He takes her home, carries her to the front porch, hands her off to her dad, and drives away. The End.

Ok Ok you got me, this isn't a real life story. It is one of Alex's favorite stories to tell though. And to be honest, I fell for it the first time I heard it. If you ever get the chance, you should hear it in person. It's much funnier and he can tell it better that I can. I hope that this brought a smile to your face. If it didn't, then you have no sense of humor, because I think it's pretty funny. Or maybe my sense of humor is messed up... either way, there's more where THAT came from! May the force be with you, live long and prosper, and other such sayings.

Monday, September 8, 2014

What have I gotten myself into?

So once upon a time, I finished my homework three hours early. And the only thing I could think to do was create a blog! Forget the fact that my house looks like a stampede of elephants just ran through, or that my pile of laundry is growing faster than a body builder on steroids. Everyone needs a blog right? I figure that the only people who will be reading this are family members and close friends (or maybe just my mom... Hi mom!). But who knows, maybe one day, the only record of our existence will be what we have left on the internet. And I want the future world to know about my freaking awesome life! That being said, let me introduce my family of two.
This is me and my husband Alex (Alexander if his mom is reading this). We have been married for like, what has it been, almost three months? That's right, we are fresh off the market, newly weds who are still trying to get the hang of things. But before I start that, my name is Marisa Pugh, I grew up in the good ol' town of Herriman. I ran cross country in high school and was state champion. Just kidding I ran varsity like twice. But I still enjoy running, mostly because I enjoy food as well. Alexander is from West Jordan. He played tennis in high school and won some games... :) We met at Snow College down in the little town of Ephraim. I was there experiencing my first year of college and he was on his third (pay no attention to the fact that Snow is a two year school *cough cough*).  It was love at first sight and we were married within a month. Just kidding. It took some convincing, but I finally captured his heart with my womanly ways. (Womanly ways being by witty humor and wonderfully good looks... ha yeah right!) We began dating in October and in five short months were engaged to be married. Then in three (super long) months we were married, June 26 to be exact. Right now we are enjoying hectic opposite schedules. He is studying to be a Podiatrist and I am studying to be an Occupational Therapist Assistant. We are both at different schools in opposite sides of the valley. I don't remember "never seeing your husband" in the marriage manual, but we still manage to find time to go on adventures.

I hope that this hasn't completely bored you. I still don't know what people are supposed to write on these things... So stay tuned! Maybe my next post will be super funny or something. May the force be with you, live long and prosper, and other such sayings.